Ah, the Joys of Driving!!

Following up to a post about  failing my driving test, I thought I would continue with how I did eventually pass!!

So, after failing first time, I was gutted but booked it again for the 12th September, which was the earliest I could get.  However, my wonderful driving instructor was able to find me a cancellation and so two days after I found out about this I began my second driving test!!  And boy, I was more nervous this time than I was first time!!  It was a Saturday, so I knew the roads would be busy but the examiner took me around the back roads so that we did not get stuck in traffic.  I thought I was driving pretty well, despite the nerves, until I went to turn into a junction as a car was coming out and almost his the bonnet!! I really thought that this would fail me!  Ugh!  I kept forgetting where I was meant to go for the independant drive but I successfully managed a straight reverse round a bend which I was chuffed with!!
  Getting back to the test centre, I concentrated so hard so that I did not make any mistakes, (which is what I failed on the first time!) and saw my instructor waitng there for me, looking a bit worried!
  I actually did not have a clue what the examiner was going to say but eventually he told me, I HAD PASSED!  And with only three minors!!  I cant tell you how relieved I was, not because I had passed but because I would never have to take another driving test again!! Its probably the worst nerves I have ever had for anything!
 

My son, off his own back, saw that people had sent me cards and decided to write his own!! "Dear mummy, I am so happy you passed your test xxxxxx"
How adorable!

And so, reluctantly, my fiance handed me his key to his car and my life of driving had begun!  My first drive was to the local town centre, with a little detour about ten minutes away and I successfully parked in a bay!  My next challenge was to drive home from work, finished at half ten and realised I had never driven in the dark before! I had to figure out a whole new routine such as lights and de-misting the windscreen!!  And then turning into my car park where I live was the biggest disaster as I turned left in third gear, stalled, stalled again and then stalled again!! I could not work out why until I realised I was still in third gear! Ugh, what a wally, but I hope to have plenty more practice between now and when my son starts school which is mainly why I wanted to drive as we have to get two buses from where we live!
  Thank you to my marvellous man, Dean, for trusting me with his car, which he has only been driving for a year! I promise not to "bin" it, to look after it as much as I can, and to keep it the way you left it. Except for the pink de-mister, the Smurfette hanging off the indicator, my choice of cds to play, and the feminine touches I leave behind!!

My Notebook Obsession

I have been meaning to write a post about my notebooks for a while, my blog has been lacking posts about my writing so what better way to start than to write about what I write in!!

I have lost count of the amount of notebooks I have but this picture should give you a rough idea!! 

There are plenty more but I couldnt fit them in the photograph!! So these are my best ones, most colourful, unique and inspiring that I have.  Most of them are not written in, just too precious.





And this is how they sit on my shelf, in the living room!!  Now, my first ever notebook was given to me at the age of about 9, it was from Avon which my mum had purchased and had peaches all over it.  Unfortunately, I dont actually know what happened to it but Im sure it was confiscated for its content!!  My love for notebooks has recently grown in the last four years.  I always bought a diary every year to write my daily activities and life stories in but as I have got older, I have found that time is lacking and by the end of the day, I just want to sit and stare at the tv instead of re-living the days events!!

This is the ONLY diary I have ever completed!!  Page by page, front to back!! It was from 1999-2001 and mainly consists of me moaning about how shit my life is!! So cringey when I read it back, but am pleased I was successful in completing at least one of my many diaries!!



This is one of my favourite notebooks, you cant tell from this picture but the cover is made out of wood!!  And the picture is embossed, which makes this gorgeous! The paper is plain inside and I love the fact that it has a binder on the side so that it is not as easy to ruin when you fold it back.

This is also embossed and was bought from Camden market.  They are handmade with parchment paper inside, and I chose the music note emblem because it represents me and all things music that I love!!



My favourite places to buy notebooks from are Paperchase, Artbox and Selfridges!!  I love stumbling on a gift shop or two especially in museums and art galleries, and am constantly on the hunt for original covers.  I do occasionally write in some of them, mainly journalling, lists and ideas.  I still alway try to keep a diary but I know that i will probably never complete a full one again! Life is just too hectic, however, if I have time to write a blog, Im sure there is time to fill out one of my gorgeous notebooks!!

So to sum up - I LOVE NOTEBOOKS!! And Im not ashamed to say it! Ill leave you with this picture, showing off my vinyl bookends!!









The Gallery -Black & White

This weeks Gallery theme from Sticky Fingers is Black and White:

Representing my family in black and white, looking out at the Thames in Hyde Park one spring day in 2010.  In case you dont recognise the backs of our heads, Dean, me and our son Jacob!!  We dont often get the three of us in a photo together, so this is rare and even then, we aren't facing the camera!!  But it shows us reflecting, before little man Jacob got bored and ran off!!



Listography - My Guilty Pleasures

Yay, an awesome choice for this weeks listography although after you have seen my choice I may have to hide until next weeks theme!!  Thanks Kate!!

1:  Bryan Adams:  Not ashamed at all to admit I love this man!! His music and his looks and I am very excited about seeing him for the first time at the o2 in December.  His collection of music that I own doesnt sit very friendly amongst my other "cool" cds but I dont care - he rocks!!



2:  Collecting Notebooks:  I have a slight obsession with buying uusual notebooks, (more of which I will dwell on my blog this week!) and my collection is getting out of hand!!  I love vintage, retro, modern, moleskin or anything I have never come across before and my favourite shop to divulge this habit in is Artbox.  I love notebooks that are blank, lined or have inspiration inside like lists, doodles etc, I could be here all day!!

3: Going on SingStar on the playstation when im home alone! - Big fat guilty pleasure of mine, singing to my hearts content with no one around to moan about how I sound like a dying cat!!  Singstar is a favourite of mine at parties with my friends but I also like to see if I can complete the challenges seriously without anyone commenting!!  Oh dear, I cant believe I just admitted to that!!




4:  Watching re-runs of Doctor Who - now this may not be classed as a guilty pleasure because its deemed cool to like this series now, its amazingly written, I love the plots and the storylines get me every time.  But I mainly watch re-runs because of one particular man: David Tennant!!  Yes, we all know he is hot, but is it really healthy to have his calendar in my living room (above where my darling fiance sits!), a signed autograph on my bedside table by the man himself, and watch all the other shows this man stars in?!  Its borderline stalking now!!  And does it count that I have just spent ten minutes looking through all his google images to find the perfect one?!!



5:  Colouring!! - I know I am not alone on this one but I love to do colouring!!  At the grand old age of 28, there is nothing better than getting a colouring book with felt tip pens and practice not going over the lines! I wont even bother using my son as an excuse for this one because we all know that when he goes to bed at night, out come my own personal supply of colouring materials, patterns and books without even touching my five year olds box of crayons!!  Its therapeutic, completely relaxing and very rewarding once the picture is complete!!


Hope you enjoyed my list this week, Im now off to colour in my notebooks whilst listening to Bryan Adams, watching Doctor Who and may even warn the neighbours to put their ear plugs in to drown out my beautiful rendition of  "The Final Countdown!"

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Domestic Violence - Its Time To Speak Out: My Story

I was inspired today to write about my experience with domestic violence.  A campaign runninng by Refuge & Avon are able to help women speak out about their horrifying experiences in order to help those suffering in silence.
  It is important to note that there are four types of domestic violence, Physical, Mental, Emotional and Sexual.  I fall under the Emotional category.
  Now, in telling this story, I do not wish to bad mouth the man that did this to me, for reasons which you are about to find out.  My message to anyone suffering similar abuse is loud and clear, Get Out Even If You Think You Cant.

The man in question I will call J, when we met I already knew his back story from what he had told me.  He was an ex heroin user and was at the beginning of an addiction to alcohol, him telling me this because he actually wanted to push me away to protect me.  He had a lot of demons to deal with and did not want to hurt me along the way.  I was only 20 at the time, so naive.  I thought I could be his saviour and help him conquer his addicitions, no problem. 
  I was with J for two years where I had witnessed him take cocaine at a party, drive under the influence of alcohol and drugs, constantly smoked weed, and hiding vodka bottles from me in cupboards, yet still I thought I could help him.  Then along came our son, and his first year in the world was a happy one, with his Dad off alcohol and clean. 
  A day after our son turned one, J drove to a local retail park to buy a car stereo and was stopped by a stranger asking if he wanted to buy some heroin. J agreed, our son was in the back seat of the car and what he set out to buy was soon forgotten.  I didnt know about this until three months later when J looked gaunt, lifeless and his eyes were "pinned up" constantly.  I knew something was wrong and he admitted to taking heroin for the last few months.
  The next six months were a downward spiral for our home life, J never saw us, constantly remaining in the spare room taking drugs and getting "high."  It was the beginning of the long journey of becoming a single parent for me, going to work at weekends and looking after our little boy.
  When social services got involved, I couldnt see the problem at first.  They were saying J was a danger to our son especially when I left him alone with his dad whilst I went off to work.  I could not see the seriousness of what was happening but in hindsight this is what was really going on:

• Heroin was being left in rooms where our son played
• J kept a knife under our bed and had many hallucinations, one included him thinking we were being robbed and I woke up to find the police in my bedroom.
• Our son was being neglected by both of us, me when I went to work and by J all of the time, leaving him in wet nappies and dirty clothes
• I was being emotionally abused with not being allowed my own money, not allowed to dress a certain way, and my whole personality was turning me into a monster

One night, J was so desperate to stop me from calling the police, he stubbed a cigarette out on my hand, whilst pinning me to the bed and when I got free, I ran to a neightbors house leaving our little boy alone in the house.  I havent portrayed myself here as the worlds greatest mum, and I wasnt at the time, being so young and naive.  But I changed it all around knowing I had to leave this situation.  It was not the easiest thing to do, I had no where to go, and did not know how I was going to suppport my son on my own but with the help of social services and my immediate family, I was put into a womans refuge far away from everyone until I was re-housed. 
  I put the pieces of my life back together but it was hard work.  I strived to be the best mum I could be after that, partly to make up for my neglect but also because I knew I could be.
  After two years and many battles through solicitors, J was able to see his son but years of drug abuse had taken their toll and sadly, J passed away earlier this year. 
  Now, without his demons and addictive personality, J was the best dad to our son.  After everything that happened, I knew he wanted to fight against it and in the last year of seeing him, he gave the world to his son as much as he could.  But, drugs would always be his downfall, coming first in his life, something I will never understand.
  The purpose of this post is to highlight that domestic violence happens to 1 in 4 of us whether its physically or emotionally.  There is a lot more that I have left out about my experience but it isnt necessary to include them.  However, to anyone suffering in silence, I strongly recommend to shout out about how you are being treated. It is no longer a taboo subject and you are definetely not alone.  Even though you may think there is no help, there most certainly is and before you know it, your life will be for the better, whether children are involved or not.  It is time to speak out and help each other with experiencing domestic violence............

The Gallery - Water

The theme this week from Sticky Fingers is Water.

So, I am dedicating this post to my favourite place in the world!! Its a secret place that no one knows about, except for the few hundred tourists that venture up here on an adventure!  Its situated in Ibiza, Playa d'en Bossa, right at the end of the beach.  Its about a ten minute walk from where we stay and is surrounded by water and rocks.

So beautiful, it is the perfect place to forget all your worries and leave your troubles behind which is exactly what I have been doing for the fifteen years I have been coming here.

The furthest point you can see here is the above place mentioned, walking alongside the Mediterranean Sea to get there.
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Silent Sunday

Listography - Things I Would Change About Myself

Ooh, a toughie this week, over at Listography, Kate has chosen "things I would change about myself" but they cannot be physically, just characteristics.  Without being too modest and I am most definietely not perfect but I struggled to find some ideas!!  I just believe that we shouldnt change things about ourselves because thats what makes us, well, us!  But anyway, cliche aside, I like a challenge so these are mine:

1 - Procrastination - I definetely do put off tomorrow thngs that I can do today!! In terms of my writng, I usually have some free time to do this but often find myself looking for something better to do!!  I dont like this characterisitic as if I had this attitude with everything in life, nothing would get done!



2 - Being self -centred! - now as a Mum, this is really not a good thing to admit, but yes, I can be self centred, thinking the whole world revolves around me!  Not so much as a parent, as my son comes first, but when I want something, Ill do anything to get it and wont let anyone stand in my way!! Ooh, not a nice characteristic but then thats the whole point of this list!! (Starting to dislike myself even more...!)



3- Learning to keep my mouth shut!! - I can be a bit too honest when I dont realise it, but sometimes its necessary! I like to stick up for myself where others wouldnt, but then not everyone likes to hear the truth and this is where my downfall lies! Still, I wont be changing this any time soon as we are in a generation of foul mouthed people, mostly unnecessary, yet I only open my gob when and where it is needed, not because I love the sound of my own voice!!  My mum always said my mouth would get me into trouble one day!





4 - Mood Swings -  as my fiance kindly pointed out to me just now, my mood swings seem to be a bit of an issue!!  Not sure if I would class this as a characteristic, rather something us women are born with!  But yes, I admit through gritted teeth, that my moods can change from hyperactive hysterical girl, to quiet, irritable woman!!  And worst of all, I let it out on my nearest and dearest, mostly my fiance.  If I could change this, I would, but my darling Dean, I am a woman and this is not gonna happen any time soon!!


5: Learn to think of more characteristics I dont like in me!! - Yes, cheating a little, but I found this list hard and like I said,not because I think im perfect but because the negative things about me are probably what other people see in me, and not what I see.  Far from it, Im sure during the week I will pick up on things that I should put in this list, so maybe ill come back and add to it!! *walks away from laptop sulking...!*

Our Trip to the Roald Dahl Museum

We were looking for something different to do today, (Sunday 7th August) and originally were going to the Lollibop Festival at Regents Park but I begrudged paying the entry fee for the three of us!!  So one of my bestest friends suggested The Roald Dahl Museum in Buckinghamshire.  And what a lovely pleasant day out we had!

Me, my son and Dean jumped in the car for the hour and a half journey not knowing what to expect.  When we got there, the museum was set in a quaint little village that I instantly fell in love with, surrounded by quirky, vintage shops like a scene out of Postman Pat!!
  Entry prices were very cheap, £!6 for all three of us.  Walking round the museum, there was so much to do and see, all the while learning about the life of this fabulous author.

There was dressing up, craft activities, story and word activities and interactive things to do so much fun was had by adults and kids alike.

Here, children were given a mini book to use around the museum and one of the activities involved stamping characters from Roald Dahls novels, as illustrated by Quentin Blake.  I enjoyed this part, being the big kid that I am!

Our son Jacob loved making up his own words using the equipment here, and really got stuck in whilst I made time to read all the wall pieces and watch some videos.

Magnetic words on the wall encouraged children to make their own silly sentences and got them excited about words without them realising.  Jacob loves to read books of his own accord which I am so proud of, being a huge book lover myself and to see his little face light up with the silly things he came up with was hilarious.

Caught in the act!!  Dean taking his montage very seriously proving that the museum is not just for kids!!

One of the reasons I was dying to come here, apart from being a big Roald Dahl fan, was to be inspired and pick up some ideas for my writing.  There was a lot of quotes and ideas around the museum from the man himself as well as other famous authors to get my writing juices flowing and I was very impressed with the museum pieces to portray how Roald Dahl wrote and what inspired him. 

Then there was the craft room, full of activities to colour, paint, glue and stick your ideas onto paper all based on Roald Dahls novels.  Again, I got overexcited about this and started gluing sequins like some possessive child!!  Jacob had fun cutting out this crocodile and colouring it in, and all round the room were other childrens works of art to inspire us.


My favourite Roald Dahl book is The Witches but my second is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and there were some Wonka inspired items around including this fake chocolate wall!! 

And the Wonka inspired gates, where I stood quoting from the book!! "No one ever goes in, and no one ever comes out!"

My love for books gets out of hand as I want to take these giant book versions home with me!!

And, of course at the end of it all, the best bit arrives, The Souvenir Shop!!  My favourite part!!  And look what goodies I took home with me because I had been so good!!

Soooo exciting!!

So overall, a marvellous day out, and I highly recommend visiting this place on a Sunday afternoon, it didnt take long for us to go round the museum but there was plenty to do along the way and depending on where you live to get there, it doesnt have to be a whole day out, just something to keep the kids entertained for the afternoon.  And of course, if your a huge fan of books or Roald Dahl himself, this is a must for all adults who will at some point relate to anything the man has created, whether its through words, film or where he grew up.
Now Im off to check my Wonka bar for that golden ticket..............................

The Gallery - Birth

This weeks theme over at http://stickyfingers1.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Gallery is Birth. 

I dont have any photos on my laptop that I could have used for this theme so I have uploaded these two, (apologies for the poor quality!).  They show pictures of my son on his first ever day and I put them into a scrap book that I made from the age of 0-5. 
  The first picture was taken when Jacob was about 12 hours old and is my favourite of him.  The second picture is a page I made for the scrapbook, detailing his important bits!!

It was and still is, one of the most incredible days of my life and such a surreal experience.  I wont go into details as we all know how we entered the world, but I was in labour for two days overall, but 5 hours once I got to hospital.  I only had gas & air as they refused me an epidural, (which Im quite pleased about in hindsight!) and after a little panic where his heartbeat slowed down, Jacob was born just as it began to snow outside!!  I fell in love with him instantly and being a mum to him is the best job out of the three I do!!  I still think about this day at least once a week as I cant believe I went through it, but I would gladly do it all again as its so rewarding!!  Watch this space......!!!

Mum - son + things to do = YOU CAN COME HOME NOW!!

Yes, I have had the luxury of having five days without my one and only son, as he has been visiting his grandparents in Leicester.  I have certainly used this opportunity to get the househld jobs done that have been piling up over the weeks that I have been working, without my little man getting under my feet.  The jobs on my list that I have managed to complete are:

• cleaning
• doing the paperwork
• getting the cream carpets finally cleaned!
• sending off my first assingment for my college course
• tidying up
• ironing, washing

Excellent, I have managed to get the household back on track after three months of me doing no housework! Sounds disgusting, (it wasnt as bad as it sounds!) but working two jobs and playing mummy has its downfalls, like having no time!!
  However, I would like my son back now please!  Yes, its been great having some free time to do all these chores, squeezing in a trip to the cinema, a drink with friends and visiting family, even not having Cbeebies on was pure heaven!  But, now I want to be a Mum again, I dont really want or need the free time without my son, he isnt a hassle, he is a dream and I am really missing his chatter even though he repeats the same songs over and over again!! I miss the whining, the moaning, the odd tantrum and the nagging, and boy, I never thought I would hear myself say that!!
  So Jacob, hurry home, mummy has the following planned for you:

• Trip to the museum
• Beach days out
• Swimming
• Park days out
• Legoland
• Cinema to see Cars 2 and The Smurfs
• Seeing your school friends

Lets complete the summer holidays together, but mind the carpets, they've just been cleaned!!!

Listography - Kids Movies

Ooh, one for the child in you this week, although my excuse is my five year old son!! This weeks listography over on http://katetakes5.blogspot.com/ is kids movies so here goes mine!


1- Labyrinth - my favourite kids movie, I grew up with this in the eighties and now my son has watched it just as much as me, I always wanted to be Sarah, (Jennifer Connelly) running through the mazes and meeting all sorts of challenges.  And of course, we cant forget David Bowie in those tights!!  "Dance, Magic, Dance!"




2- Monsters Inc - my favourite Pixar movie, its so original and sooo funny!!  Mike, (the walking eyeball!) steals the show and the end credits are just genius!! "Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!" "SO HELP ME!"







3 - Mary Poppins - my childhood film, my Dad has made me watch this so many times although I appreciate it more now that I am older.  "Feed the birds" makes my mum cry every time and Ill always remember that!  Plus it is full of nostalgia and fun for everyone.


4- Hook- Although this film starts off slow, once we enter Neverland, I thouroughly enjoy this film!! Dustin Hoffman as Hook plays the winning role for me, and its cleverly written.  Of course, Robin Williams is fantastic as ever!!



5 - Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone - Where it all began, I was so excited about seeing this come to life and it did not disappoint.  I think as the film moved on though, they were not so much for kids, but for the child in the adults as they got darker and scarier, but will always be a favourite future box set of mine to watch over and over again.....